The Secretary for Education, Michael Gove, ended months of speculation today by admitting a ‘Loving and long term’ relationship with himself.
An emotional but smiling Mr Gove said in a short Youtube clip; ‘In spring this year my life changed massively when I met someone, and they make me feel so happy, so safe and everything just feels great.That someone is me.’ Support for Mr Gove has been widespread. Miley Cyrus tweeted earlier today ‘Respec for you Mike E. Hope you and self happy.’
In an apparent misunderstanding, Columnist Will Self was briefly questioned by reporters about his relationship with Mr Gove. When the mistake was discovered, Mr Self commented ‘Once more the weltaunschang of meretricious redactivism adumbrates the tawdry narcissism of our fin du siècle.’ Reporters then asked Mr Self to please go away and stop following them.