There was surprise in north London today when Tottenham Hotspur Chairman Daniel Levy unveiled North Korea’s Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un as the Club’s new manager.
‘This is the start of a bright new chapter for Spurs,’ said Levy, ‘I personally saw no more suitable candidate; in Kim we now have a ruthless, fearless head coach who will bring the discipline the team’s been lacking and shore up both our defence and attack through the addition of top North Korean imports. Well, one North Korean Import, actually. Him.’
Despite only playing football once before, Kim has also been named as Club Captain and starting Number 9. Levy reassured fans that Kim’s lack of experience was countered by raw talent, as during that game he had scored 46 goals in a 47-0 victory over the North Korean National team, with the 47th going to his uncle Chang Song-thaek, who is sadly no longer available for selection.
In a bar close to White Hart Lane, a Spurs supporter was upbeat about the appointment of the 30-year-old, saying; ‘Has Levy pulled off a blinder here? Well, we’ve heard it all before and we’re not expecting miracles, but he can’t do any worse than Soldado up front.’