‘Farage is messing with our heads’ complains Tory spokesman

Conservative Central Office has formally complained to UKIP about confusing and disorientating policy announcements. Until now, we have been able to cope with UKIP by dismissing them as xenophobic bigots’ said the spokesman. ‘But by calling for the UK to accept Syrian refugees – which the government refuses to do – Nigel Farage has completley wrong-footed us. My brain hurts.’

No-one from UKIP was available for comment but rumours were circulating Westminster that Nigel Farage had left his lap-top on while his student grandchildren were staying over Christmas. This might explain other new UKIP policy announcements such as the legalisation of cannabis, the adoption of French as the official language of Great Britain and a ‘UKIP jazz-funk welcome disco’ for all immigrants ‘wherever they may be from.’


Share this story...

Posted: Dec 30th, 2013 by

Click for more article by ..

© 2018 NewsBiscuit | Powered by Deluxe Corporation | Stories (RSS) | T & C | Privacy | Disclaimer