As temperate Britain transforms into a storm battered bastion offset from the ‘continent’, the British Government is throwing in the very soggy towel.
Despite the Environment Agency and council workers toiling tirelessly over the holidays clearing up mess made by wind and floods, the tide just keeps on coming in.
Decision makers have decided to do away with the tax payer burden that is flood prevention, keeping roads and railways open and keeping the lights on. Cobra declares it more cost effective for families and business in Britain to cut out the middle men and bear the cost of the clear up directly.
A spokesman for the Agency admitted ‘We’ve just had a load of floods, things falling over in the wind, and transport chaos. We spent a fortune of taxpayer cash clearing up households and businesses and holding back rivers and seas – but the weather just won’t change. The service we provide clearly isn’t satisfactory, so we give up. Every man, woman and child in the land will be issued with a pair of waders and a bucket instead. We are confident the blitz spirit prevails and people can take care of themselves, whatever the weather.’