An elderly local man was left traumatized yesterday after being inexpertly assaulted by a youth who proceeded to give his full name and address. Robert Brennan, 82, was taking a walk to visit his sister when he was set upon and amateurishly manhandled.
‘When I saw this yob coming at me, I was expecting at least a black eye or a broken nose,’ Brennan said. ‘But all he did was shake me by the shoulders for a bit, before saying he was Kyle Deekins of 51 Spencer Street, Daventry. This was the most pathetic mugging I’ve ever had. I’m devastated.’
Since the mediocre attack, Brennan has complained of a lack of nervousness and of being perfectly willing to leave his house. Police said that they are looking for Kyle Deekins of 51 Spencer Street, Daventry.