Pensioner not badly shaken after being shaken badly

An elderly local man was left traumatized yesterday after being inexpertly assaulted by a youth who proceeded to give his full name and address. Robert Brennan, 82, was taking a walk to visit his sister when he was set upon and amateurishly manhandled.

‘When I saw this yob coming at me, I was expecting at least a black eye or a broken nose,’ Brennan said. ‘But all he did was shake me by the shoulders for a bit, before saying he was Kyle Deekins of 51 Spencer Street, Daventry. This was the most pathetic mugging I’ve ever had. I’m devastated.’

Since the mediocre attack, Brennan has complained of a lack of nervousness and of being perfectly willing to leave his house. Police said that they are looking for Kyle Deekins of 51 Spencer Street, Daventry.


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Posted: Jan 13th, 2014 by

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