Following on from Gibraltar’s admittance into UEFA, the Scilly Isles have emerged as the front runner for next joke nation to be granted a seat at European football’s top table. The Isles’ two teams could be contesting a place in the Europa League next season and rumours are flying, including a 35,000 all-seater stadium being bulldozed through Tresco’s Abby Gardens.
‘There have already been stories of Far East businessmen buying into the Wanderers, the Gunners or both – it might be hard to tell, since most of our 36 active players have transferred between them so often they can’t remember who they are playing for at the moment,’ said local publican Bert Haskill. ‘One of the regular players even thought he saw that John Terry in here eyeing up his wife. Happy days.’