You should see some of the crumpet over here, French president Francois ‘Le Shaggeur’ Hollande has told the world’s press. He added that you’re guaranteed a good time the other side of Le Manche, thanks to his Socialist policies redistributing wealth to allow poor chicks to buy nice lingerie
When pressed by Le Monde journalist Marie-France Lemoine about his relationship with actress Julie Gayet, Hollande winked and made a circle using his forefinger and thumb, before repeatedly prodding it with his other forefinger. Hollande added: ‘I’ll see you after the conference, eh love? ‘Ow you say – ding dong!’
Meanwhile, Valerie Trierweiler, Hollande’s partner, has been in hospital since Friday with ‘shock’ after realising how much tax she pays. It has also that Hollande brought the world to within five minutes of destruction last week after mistaking the nuclear button for his lover’s clitoris.