The Isle of Wight’s Head of Digital Strategy, Alfred Cooper, has admitted that the Island’s homeland security may be compromised if, as looks possible, the disk on which top secret security information is stored reaches its 1.4Mb limit.
‘We hold some very sensitive bits of information here’, said Mr Cooper at a press conference in Ventnor today. ‘It’s vital that we continue to store information on the number of controlled drugs and compounds such as aspirin and steradent on the streets, and general intelligence on the Island’s stockpile of boiled sweets. If this disk fills-up then our monitoring of such activity may be delayed whilst Ethel locates a copy of Windows 95, formats the disk and puts a new sticky label on it. The downtime could be disastrous’.
Analyst Brad Charles from Gartner, a leading IT research company, said: ‘The Isle of Wight needs to move forward with its IT systems. Relying on a floppy disk to store data is old-hat, and we believe that Islanders should be comforted by knowing that their personal data is at least stored on a USB 64Mb memory stick.’
Mr Cooper disagreed; ‘you cannot store data on a 1980’s pop group, especially one that wrote a song about red wine.’