2022 World Cup hosts Qatar have decided to allow ‘a small number’ of gay marriages in an attempt to bring some moderate winds and light rainfall so that the competition can be held in the summer, inspired by the ravings of UKIP councillor David Silvester.
FIFA boss Sepp Blatter said he was delighted at the solution. ‘We have been trying to find a way to host the 2022 competition in the summer rather than moving it to the winter ever since we found out it gets very hot in the desert in the summer’, he explained. ‘Now that Qatar has discovered that allowing gays to get married prompts God to send storms it’s going to allow one or two weddings in the hope that He sends a month’s worth of light drizzle and cool breezes, making conditions more like a British summer.’
The England cricket team are also thought to be interested in the possibility of fine-tuning the idea. ‘We’re wondering whether permitting a little bit of gayness could lead to five days of solid rain, just about the time we’re playing the Aussies’ confirmed captain Alistair Cook. ‘Or anyone else for that matter…’