Figures released today show that there has been a huge increase in unemployment amongst fairground goldfish since 1988.
Finnegan Scales, spokesperson for the Goldfish Workers Union, claims the government ‘isn’t doing enough’ to prevent the tide of inflatable plastic hammers and oversized cuddly toys coming in from abroad.
‘I used to look forward to swimming around in a small plastic bag, encouraging people to throw wooden rings at milk bottles’, said Mr. Scales, ‘But now most of our work is done by poor quality electrical items and lacklustre soft toys from abroad. Our employment opportunities have taken a dive, and it’s left us gasping.’
When asked what he thought could be done about the issue, Mr. Scales replied: ‘Sorry, what were we talking about again?’