Rise in A&E admissions blamed on swans

A survey of admissions from Accident & Emergency units across the country has revealed that after road traffic accidents, swan related injuries are the second most common cause of admission to hospital.  One recent hospital revealed that of ten patients admitted that morning four had been attacked by swans; three fractured wrists and a facial contusion from a severe pecking attack. ‘When I was growing up my parents repeatedly told me that a swan could break your arm, but that message seems to have got lost in today’s ‘Facebook’ generation’ he re-iterated.

The government is considering a cull of the vicious birds, however after experience gained in the culling of badgers in Gloucestershire it has been estimated that each swan shot would cost the taxpayer around £75,000, roughly equalling the annual salaries of three nurses. A government spokesman was heard to comment that this ‘seemed like reasonable value in today’s economic climate’.


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Posted: Jan 27th, 2014 by

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