Fifty business leaders have written to The Times, demanding that the government repeal the abolition of slavery, saying that it is damaging the economic recovery. The letter, signed by the likes of Sir Martin Sorrell and Lord Digby Jones complained bitterly of the ‘intolerable burdens’ placed on businesses by having to pay wages and threatened to up sticks to undeveloped countries where systems of bondage are often informally used.
In response, a government spokesman pledged to remove ‘burdensome red tape which holds us back in the world and tilt the playing field back towards human bondage and the good old fashioned British traditions of violent oppression. Slavery has too long been unfairly denigrated by meddling lefty historians and it’s about time we reclaimed our heritage’.
Lord Digby Jones denied being the biggest dog in the world.