‘We wait until your mouth’s full before asking how your food is’, admit waiters

Waiting-on staff across the UK have admitted today that they love nothing more than waiting until you’ve just shovelled half a quiche in your mouth before asking you if ‘everything’s okay with the meal’.

‘Most of the customers in this place earn my annual salary in a week; I have to do something to cheer myself up’, said London Hilton waiter, Thomas Seddon. ‘If you’re at an important business lunch and you’re acting all snotty and “executive”, there’s nothing more satisfying that waiting until you’re in mid-chew, asking you a question, then watching you frantically nod and start trying to mime your appreciation whilst spitting a piece of tiramisu all over your new client. What do you think gets me through working here every day? It ain’t your measly tips.’

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Posted: Feb 3rd, 2014 by

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