The London Boroughs of Kensington and Chelsea have been issued with an amber flood alert after a puddle was spotted forming on a patch of grass in Kensington Palace Gardens.
The puddle, large enough to be seen from an upstairs window could, experts fear, eventually cover an area the size of a dustbin lid if further rain falls as predicted. Occupants of the Palace spoke of nearly getting their feet wet and fear that any rise in the flood could lead to serious consequences – servants have already drawn up plans to walk the Chow Chows in the nearby park instead.
Accutely aware of criticism of the government being too slow to act, PM David Cameron has personally taken control of the emergency, packing Evironment Agency boss Chris Smith off to ‘the regions’ and sending in the marines. A pontoon bridge has since been placed over the puddle and landing craft are on standby to ferry those affected across the grass verge if necessary.
The PM emphasised that the operational cost of £30m would really help flood victims in and around the Kensington Palace area and he would be happy to meet with anybody affected by the puddle during the interval of tonight’s performance of Cirque de Soleil at The Royal Albert Hall.