London based journalists say they have been overawed by the ‘raw power of Mother Nature’ after being despatched to report on the ongoing floods crisis in a location known as ‘the rest of the country’.
‘I was completely overwhelmed by the elemental forces unleashed down in Cornwall,’ said a Daily Mail reporter who watched the storms on his iPad from deep inside his local Starbucks. ‘There was so much rain it was actually collecting on the ground in pools so deep that I couldn’t have cycled through one on my folding Brampton without completely ruining my moccasins.’
‘It was a journey into the heart of darkness,’ said a Sun reporter who was sent to report from Penzance. ‘And so, so cold. I couldn’t find a single 19-year-old flooding expert willing to get her knockers out, they were all too busy paddling around the town centre in boats. It was worse than when we had a burst water main in Hoxton that time.’
A BBC reporter sent to Dawlish reported how she had to take cover under her duvet when she heard rain lashing her hotel room windows.
‘It was the most frightening encounter I’ve had with the raw power of Mother Nature since I was caught in Kensington High Street without a brolly,’ she said.