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‘NobNomination’ craze sweeps through Westminster

Critics have slammed the latest anti-social media craze where Coalition MPs and members of the Opposition egg one another on to visit flood zones and spout provocative bollocks. The event has to be completed and broadcast within 24 hours to qualify.

‘Hobnobbing with the hoi polloi in their horrid homes’, or ‘NobNomination’ as it is known, has a fairly loose set of rules, but always involves a dare. A spokesman explained, ‘Often the nominee is compelled to make a complete knob out of him/herself, modelling bespoke high-viz waterproof gear that has clearly never seen mud before the photo opportunity or dare.’

On completion of a dare, the successful NobNominator selects the next victim. The method of picking the dare is itself a sport. ‘We have a big flood map on the wall of the House of Commons bar, and a set of darts. One necks a decent drink, then flings a dart at the map. Sort of ‘pin the tail on the wet patch’. The holy grail of the game is to land directly on the poor bastard’s own constituency, which he hasn’t seen for months. It’s an absolute riot, and can result in one.’

If the arrows fail to land on a worthy flood zone, the ‘Nominator’ can pick an interview via TV or radio show that might be terminal to the nominee’s career. The collective then decide on at least one ridiculous platitude that the victim has to come out with during the visit or interview.

The craze of NobNomination is reported to be getting out of hand with at least one political death this week, and another apalling fall. Chris Smith and Nigel Lawson are names that are no longer spoken aloud in Westminster.

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Posted: Feb 16th, 2014 by Squudge

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