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Lost City of Atlantis; ‘we’ve been completely forgotten’

The world’s most famous flooded metropolis entered its fourth millennia under water this week as civic leaders claimed they had been totally overlooked by David Cameron’s government.

‘They don’t care about us down here’ said Councillor Bryan Neptune (Con), ‘All you see on the news in Staines, or Wraysbury or Somerset. Do they even know we exist? I sometimes wonder if they do.’

Atlantis has been under water even longer than the Somerset Levels and those expensive new houses recently built on the flood plain in Chertsey, and yet has had no government assistance or support from the armed forces. ‘Where are the crack troops with the wheelbarrows?’ said Cllr. Neptune; ‘I want some sandbags by my front door. Obviously they would make no difference whatsoever, but then the same can be said for the sandbags being dished out in the Thames Valley.’

David Cameron reacted to accusations that he had forgotten the Lost City of Atlantis by promising to visit it tomorrow. ‘Is it somewhere off Greece?’ he asked, ‘Or in the Atlantic, maybe, yes, that sounds more likely. But you can be sure that money will no object’, added the Prime Minister as he selected a trident and big white beard for the photo-opportunity. ‘But there will be no blank cheques either. So actually ignore what I just said, and anything Eric Pickles said is guaranteed to be nonsense.’

Meanwhile Ed Miliband slammed the government for losing the lost city in the first place. ‘Legend has it that the mythical city of Atlantis was cast deep under the ocean due to a massive earthquake thousands of years ago. This government has to accept the blame for that.’

Newsbiscuit (hat tip to Adrian Bamforth)

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2014 by NewsBiscuit

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