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Madeleine McCann missing from front page of Express

Concerns have been raised over the absence of missing child Madeleine McCann from the headlines of the Daily Express. She has now not been seen for more than two days and observers are beginning to worry. One reader said, ‘You just get so used to her being around. We’ve seen her every morning over these last few years and she’s become like one of the family. I feel like we should organise a search party.’

McCann was reported missing when a concerned reader noted that her daily dose of Madeleine news has been replaced by the story ‘Romanians eat Queen’s Swans’, with a poll appended at the bottom of the page on the topic, ‘Should Romanians be allowed to eat the Queen’s Swans?’ She had previously lived for several years in the Express front page headlines, inhabiting stories such as ‘Madeleine’s lost teddy provides link to Bulgarians’ and ‘Maddy “seized by gypsies with ringlets and circular earrings” lead’.

In the past, other popular figures have vanished without trace from the front page of the Express for literally days at a time. However, they have usually made a welcome reappearance fairly quickly after a frantic search for asinine and trivial stories which could be used as a safe haven for them. This occurred most notably with Princess Diana, who recently returned with open arms to the Express front page in the story, ‘Diana’s Secret Corn Plasters – The Shocking Truth’. When asked for a quote, an Express spokesman said, ‘We miss her too, but we’ve no doubt that she’ll be back soon – we’ve got a bet on about how long we can keep a story going with no news content in it whatsoever and we’ll be damned if it’s going to fall before seven years is up.’


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Posted: Feb 21st, 2014 by Guest

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