Great white shark seen in Atlantic on its way to take over Co-op Bank

can't wait to sink its teeth in

A great white shark that was spotted crossing from one side of the Atlantic to the other is on its way to hold discussions with the board of directors at the Co-op Bank, according to the head of the expedition tracking it.

Last weekend, the satellite-tagged shark, called Lydia, crossed the mid-Atlantic ridge, with a team of scientists in hot pursuit on board the research vessel M/V Ocearch. They used a 34,000 kg capacity hydraulic platform, operated from the vessel, to lift the shark safely from the ocean so that researchers could search for clues as to its destination. The data linked the shark to the Co-op Bank’s communications centre in Manchester.

‘According to the signals and data that we’ve managed to transcribe, the shark is scheduled to meet the Co-op’s board of directors on Monday morning at the HQ in Manchester,’ said expedition leader Giles Munro. ‘We expect it to reach the Manchester Ship Canal by Sunday afternoon after a brief stop at Harry Ramsden’s for a fish and chip supper in Liverpool docks, assuming the sight of Scouse women on the tiles doesn’t scare it back into the Irish Sea.’

Speculation about the replacement of Co-op Group chief executive Euan Sutherland following his resignation has been rife, according to the BBC’s Robert Peston. ‘Ongoing building work at the Group’s £100 million headquarters was said to be for a huge Think Tank. It is now very apparent just what kind of tank they are installing,’ he remarked

Sutherland, who joined the Co-op last May, said last month that 2013 had been ‘perhaps the worst year’ in the Co-op’s long history and, unlike the incoming great white shark, it had ‘lost its way’. He has reportedly rescinded his resignation after failing to receive suitable alternative offers of employment. The shark, meanwhile, has been tapped up for senior roles at every investment bank in London.

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Posted: Mar 11th, 2014 by

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