Middle class Britons have united in condemning Laura Cunliffe, who microwaved a cat in revenge for eating her pet goldfish. They agree that 14 weeks in jail is not nearly long enough a punishment for the culinary faux pas of not cooking domestic felines in an Aga, well-seasoned, until it is so tender that meat simply falls off the bone.
‘I blame fast-food culture, a period of austerity and one too many ‘bush-tucker trials’ on TV,’ said James Farquarson from Notting Hill. ‘There is an excess of domestic animals, after all. Nobody is going to miss the odd cat or dog. It’s not like I’m sticking a panda under the George Foreman grill. With the right oven I hear Nigella Lawson can prepare a moist pussy with an accompanying double entendre that will make your mouth water.’