Flight MH370 could have been cloaked in an invisibility shield and forced to land in a secret location using a traction beam by Austin Powers’ arch enemy Dr Evil to participate in an as-yet-undisclosed devious plan to extort a trillion dollars from China, according to the latest report from Sky News.
“Nothing has been ruled in or out,” said anchor Kay Burley, “so, in the absence of any new concrete developments, and nothing from the Malaysian authorities, we have to get our reports from credible social media sources as to what is going on.”
“Has anyone mentioned possible involvement by Lex Luther, or the Green Goblin? I think not,” she added. “But Sky has a duty to thoroughly investigate every conceivable angle.”
Sky’s interactive computerised graphics department is busy at work producing an animation of the latest theory, which will fill up 10 minutes of every hour of airtime until the aircraft and passengers are finally, inevitably found on the moon.