Michael Portillo appointed new RMT Union boss

Michael Portillo has been appointed leader of the RMT following a secret ballot of the union’s members. A delighted and surprised Mr Portillo said: “I think the selection committee appreciated my passion for the railways,” although the RMT later confirmed it was mostly down to his apparent ‘intense pathological hatred’ of both Boris Johnson and the Daily Mail.

With a TV documentary crew following him around, Mr Portillo’s first three weeks in his new job will involve moving in to Bob Crow’s council house, having a slap-up meal at the Rules Restaurant in Covent Garden, calling a 6-month tube strike, then going on holiday to Brazil to ‘get a feel’ of what the RMT expects of him.

“Most of all, I am looking forward to sitting under a tree and reading Karl Marx” said Michael, “but I can reassure the RMT and all my fans that I shall continue to carry my Bradshaw’s Railway Guide and wear a pink shirt wherever the train may take me.”

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Posted: Mar 26th, 2014 by

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