The Ministry of Defence has confirmed today that it has placed a large order for Lego bricks with the famous Danish manufacturer. ‘We’ve been evaluating these devices as anti-personnel weapons for some time,’ said Major Roberts of the Defence Procurement Agency based in Abbeywood, Bristol.
‘The Geneva Convention has got a little sticky around anti-personnel munitions and we had to sell of a load of cluster bombs recently to third world dictatorships because they’d been ruled illegal.’
Showing the specially commissioned disruptive pattern blocks up to the world’s press, he added; ‘but these bricks are just within the rules; we deploy them into the barracks of the enemy using an underarm lob, as favoured by British cricketers, and the bricks scatter all over the floor, injuring troops as they respond to the attack as they jump out of bed. Not only does it take out the injured person, but up to two other soldiers who would now need to support him to the medical centre, or perhaps the nearest comfy chair. That’s a lot of collateral for one bag of plastic bricks,’
Lego today confirmed the order and also that it had been supplying the Danish Army with Lego bricks ‘for years’, but only as a defensive measure along the border. This is the first time we’ve been aware that the bricks have been bought for purely offensive purposes,’ said a spokesman.
Story by throngsman, with hat-tips to deceangli, footinmouth and Newbiscuit