There was outrage today as animal welfare groups reacted to clarification from the Palace that Princess Anne had meant that ‘one should simply talk these animals to death’, rather than use poison gas.
‘The principle of allowing gassing northern women to talk relentlessly to badgers until they succumb seems unprecedented cruelty’, raged one animal activist. ‘It is alright for her to say they’ll go peacefully to sleep, but I’ve tried, and it’s a flippin’ nightmare.’
A spokesman from the RSPCA blanched at the prospect of attempting to contain the gassing within the animals’ burrows. ‘We have no way of knowing how surrounding wildlife will be affected, nor just how much nagging constitutes a lethal dose.’
The Highways agency have warned motorists to watch out for an unusual number of badgers ‘turning themselves inside out’ by roadsides once the cull starts.