The BBC has commissioned a second series of the popular relocation show based on ‘Escape to the Country’ with the twist that participants move into someone else’s country. ‘It’s been a runaway success,’ said the Russian president, referring to his successful annexation of Crimea, ‘and it has generated such a lot of media interest that when the BBC approached me about hosting the second series it was all I could do to keep my shirt on.’.
‘In this series we will follow the Russian army as it encourages people to leave their homelands and settle in someone else’s, while I take a look at up to four mansions and palaces that I’ll have taken as bounty. The only sad part is that my best mate in the UK, Nigel Farage, isn’t returning my emails any more. I heard he was muttering something about ‘bloody Ukrainian refugees’ but don’t know if that’s an issue with him.’