After the successful legalisation of gay marriage, which hasn’t resulted in any smiting, earthquakes or unusual cosmological signs, the Government is considering legalising the consumption of shellfish.
‘Leviticus is pretty clear on shellfish – they’re an abomination’, admitted David Cameron yesterday. ‘But Leviticus says precisely the same about a man um…lying with a man… as it were. While we respect that that people hold strong views about what is sanctioned in the Old Testament, we think the time may be right to allow people to eat ‘whatever is in the seas and rivers that does not have fins and scales.’
‘I’d like to take this even further, and legalise the planting of two different crops in one field. Let’s face it, if bumming isn’t going to cause divine retribution, a little creative agriculture should be okay’.