Paternity leave extended to ‘uncles’

The government is extending the popular paternity leave scheme, which allows fathers to take time off to look after new born babies, to uncles, including the obscure ones with Tourette’s that no-one wants to talk about and not just the biological ones.

Opposition ministers derided the move and UKIP warned of ‘foreign uncles’ being allowed to come to Britain to take paid leave of absence with people they met on holiday while waiting on them.

‘It’s an important step,’ claimed David Cameron, who has repeatedly claimed that his success has come in part from the guidance of his uncles, especially the rich ones. ‘In the Conservative party we have a rich history of non-biological uncles,’ he added, declining to discuss specifics about the uncles who loitered at the school gates.


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Posted: Apr 24th, 2014 by

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