Hallmark launch new card range for contrite sex pests

Greetings card manufacturer Hallmark has launched a new range of cards aimed at the remorseful sex offender. The new cards, which Hallmark are calling ‘the post-Savile range’, have been introduced in response to the recent spike in the number of court cases and allegations of sexual misconduct among celebrities.

However, while some see the sending of a card as an act of contrition on the part of the sex pest, some lawyers are concerned that it could also be construed as an admission of guilt. Henry Stewart of London based media law firm Edmonds and Sharkey has instructed several of the firm’s clients not to send a card until they have been found guilty: ‘The optimum time to send a card is between the guilty verdict and sentencing, although some judges may feel that the sending of the card at this point is insincere if taken in good faith it could knock a couple of years off the sentence’.

The new range of cards include messages, such as: ‘Sorry! it was the 70’s and everyone was at it’, ‘D’oh! I honestly thought you were over 16′ and ‘Sorry! I was a bit pissed and it was just a joke, please don’t tell my constituents’. The cards have been put on sale in the foyers of BBC buildings across the country where trade has been described as ‘brisk’.


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Posted: May 6th, 2014 by

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