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Morph under fire for stream of racist expletives

why didn't anyone stop him years ago?Claymation character Morph, popularised by the children’s TV art show Take Hart, was today embroiled in a row over racism on the BBC. Though his words are commonly thought of as ‘unintelligible babble’, many are now accusing him of spewing an unbroken stream of racist expletives from the 1970s to the present.

The alleged plasticine racist was unavailable for comment, though issued this statement through his lawyer:  ‘I am shocked at the allegations.  The thought that my language across 35-years has sounded like a constant tirade of racial abuse has left me confounded and bemused.  I consider my views to be cosmopolitan and liberal; many of my closest friends are blue, nail brushes or made of tin foil’.

Despite his outright denial at the accusations, Morph did concede that, when slowed down and amplified, there is one outtake scene of the popular 70s show where he may have been heard mumbling the word ‘chalky’ to lighter-skinned co-star and friend, Chas, but insisted it was ‘just friendly banter’.

His statement continued:  ‘As amorphous characters made of modelling clay, we have a ‘melting pot’ attitude to race, and I have for many years shared a pencil box with my life partner, Chas.  Though we were no stranger to the kind of blue language that used to ‘colour the air’ between takes in the Take Hart days, this was simply the culture of the time, and once the cameras were on everyone was purely professional.’

The accusations come shortly after Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson received a ticking off from the BBC regarding his use of the popular nursery rhyme; Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.  Officials who led the investigation have now confirmed that their next target will be the Teletubbies, after viewers became disturbed by worryingly ambiguous statements, such as; ‘Icky noo noo, tiddly tiddly custard’.

‘We have no idea what that means yet, but there must be some disgusting racial connotations in there somewhere,’ said one investigator.

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Posted: May 8th, 2014 by Adrian Bamforth

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