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Eric Pickles slams Green Party for misusing chip fat

Communities Secretary Eric Pickles has hit out at the Green Party after it emerged one of the campaign buses they used on a tour of Berkshire had been converted to run entirely on recycled chip fat.

According to Mr Pickles, the UK’s 60million chip eaters would be horrified to learn how the nation’s chip fat was being frittered away by the Greens on such frivolous schemes as biofuel.

Pickles says the use of chip fat to power a bus showed ‘utter contempt’ for hard working families across the UK and called for a halt to the practice.

‘Green Party candidates had the temerity to laugh and joke with locals in Reading knowing full well the tour bus they were using was being powered by what they termed as ‘waste chip fat’. That tells you all you need to know about the Green Party,’ snorted the Communities Secretary.

‘The Greens fail to realise what a catastrophic effect a shortage of chipped potatoes and batter-bits could have on the nation’s economic recovery. Some communities depend entirely on the chip…it’s not much point them having a bus to the JobCentre if they’re dying of malnutrition. It’s a complete misuse of the UK’s dwindling sunflower oil reserves.

‘The Greens must learn that there is no such thing as ‘waste chip fat’. There is only ‘chip fat’, and no other.

‘Mmmmm. Chips.’

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Posted: May 18th, 2014 by Gerontius

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