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‘Godzilla vs Romanian’ movie in the pipeline

With a resurgence in fears of both Godzilla and Romanians, British filmmakers have discussed another possible reboot of the Godzilla movie franchise by pitting the Japanese monster against a Romanian immigrant.

British filmmaker Miles Cumbridge said he would take the amphibious reptilian monster known for destroying cities, and then pair him up against Godzilla in a thrilling blockbuster action movie. ‘There’s nothing set in stone yet,’ said Cumbridge, ‘but we envision a Romanian moving near Godzilla’s home somewhere along the Pacific Ocean, and just being up to no good in general. The audience is not quite sure what he’s up to, but certainly not buying his nice neighbourly manner either!’

‘Romanians are a new breed of destructive monsters,’ he explained. ‘They’re these blood-sucking, shape-shifting, moving-next-dooring creatures that inhabit the streets and are hell-bent on the destruction of middle-class neighbourhoods. They also have this supernatural power of being lazy benefit scroungers but at the same time manage to take jobs off hard-working Brits. So Godzilla will really have met his match in this particular film.’

Cumbridge first made the comparison while hearing Romanians speaking in their native language on the bus, and believed it had a striking resemblance of the infamous Godzilla roar. ‘At first I brushed this off as a mere coincidence. But then again, while having a quiet pint down the pub a Romanian working there walked by and caused a ripple in my lager, like the famous rippling water scene in Jurassic Park. It was then that I thought to myself: if someone doesn’t make a monster movie out of this, I bloody well will!’

Movies have already been made of Godzilla fighting other monsters such as King Kong, Zilla and The Sea Monster, but has never yet fought against something as frightening as an Eastern European armed with an EU passport. ‘But being a giant radioactive lizard Godzilla will have an advantage against fighting a Romanian,’ Cumbridge added. ‘The Romanian can’t nick any of his money because he doesn’t have any pockets.’

David Keenan

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Posted: May 24th, 2014 by Guest

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