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Thai military to also offer mail-order bridal service

As the army take control of Thailand’s government, martial law is set to extend to marital law – less of a coup more of a ‘Cooeee!’. With lady-boys in combat gear seen marching through the streets of Bangkok, it has become clear to all ‘romantically challenged’ westerners that a tougher regime of dating is in the offing. For some, this may be the path to true love – provided you like ‘camo makeup’, the threat of imminent violence and ‘getting fisted with a grenade.’

Via reputable websites, the discerning 40-something divorcee can find himself a new bride from a range of armed forces. From the lowliest infantrymen right through to ‘sexy’ officers offering ‘ping pong fun’; all tastes are accommodated. Even the Commander-in-Chief, General Prayuth Chan-ocha, appears on one dating website: ‘…looking for cuddles, walks along the beach and illegal seizure of power.’

The Royal Thai Army claims to have imposed martial law ‘to preserve law, order…and bring happiness to over-weight men from Bradford.’ Soldiers have taken control of media outlets, closed roads and block booked ‘all the best wedding venues’ in a fifty mile radius. While there have been at least 11 coups since 1932, this is the first time Military Chiefs have had a chance to ‘meet Mr Right.’

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Posted: May 24th, 2014 by Wrenfoe

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