In a remarkable shift in opinion, Deputy PM Nick Clegg has renounced his stance against the UK leaving Europe, declaring openly that he ‘dislikes all foreigners’, and will happily go for a pint with everyone, ‘providing the ale is British’.
Clegg’s comments came shortly after Nigel Farage began celebrating a historic win for UKIP, who triumphed over the main parties in the European Elections. The Lib Dem leader, who saw his party suffer its worst defeat in a national election for 25-years, said: ‘We’ve already established that I have no backbone, so I don’t know what all this fuss is about. Anyway, these are my genuine beliefs that I’ve had since yesterday’.
‘Come, my fellow Brit; we shall retire to the nearest tavern to swig on foaming British ale whilst regaling the barkeep with riotous jokes at the expense of the Irish!’
He added; ‘Roast dinners. Winston Churchill. Our boys in Afghan. Erm…Geoff Hurst’.