Ref’s vanishing spray is whipped cream, claims Webb

FIFA super-ref Howard Webb has revealed that the new ‘vanishing spray’ he’s been issued with for this year’s World Cup to help make free kicks fairer is indistinguishable from whipped cream, and just as tasty.

‘I’ve been sent 10 cans of the stuff and my three kids love it on donuts while my wife and I enjoy it immensely on a cup of hot chocolate,’ said Webb in a candid interview. ‘So far with no ill effects – except that now, everyone keeps ten yards away from me,’ he japed.

But apart from being delicious, use of the spray has attracted some controversy after Yuichi Nishimura, the Japanese Referee of last night’s Brazil versus Croatia match apparently used it to draw a number of penises on the Sao Paulo pitch at various points during the game.

Fifa’s post match analysis team had been reviewing the footage from the many cameras at the game to look for missed infringements by players and were astonished to find Nishimura painting knobs near the corner flag, the centre circle and the six yard boxes at both ends.

Nishimura faces disciplinary action if, as some have suggested, a dreadful late sliding challenge from a Croatian Defender on Neymar was influenced by the Referee writing “kick me” on the Brazilian’s back 15 seconds before.

Boutros and MikeMikeyMike

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Posted: Jun 14th, 2014 by

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