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MP warns against danger of children downloading e-cigarettes from internet

A backbench Conservative MP, Sir Richard Grealey-Symes, has warned of an ‘e-cancer timebomb’ if something is not done about the latest menace of e-cigarettes.

‘My teenage grandchildren have assured me that e-smokes have ‘gone viral’, with children as young as six getting addicted to e-tobacco which can be downloaded for free off the Internet’, said the concerned 76-year-old baronet. ‘In the past, youngsters had to go behind the school bike shed for a furtive smoke, and all one had to do was drag them out and give them a good flogging. But now they’re ‘logging on’ to social sites like Myface and Spacebook in the privacy of their own bedrooms and indulging in marathon smoking sessions with their friends. I’ve even heard of one 10-year-old who was rushed to A&E with ten megabytes of e-nicotine in his system.’

Grealey-Symes has also warned that electronic marijuana is now on the scene and Britain is staring into an abyss of e-reefer madness. ‘What’s most worrying is that because it’s in electronic form it can’t be detected by sniffer dogs. We were caught off guard in the Sixties and the drug culture was upon us before we knew it, but we must learn from our mistakes and nip this menace in the bud. We need to tell children that when the pop-up appears asking them if they’d like to download an e-joint, they should Just Click No.’

Internet giants have told the MP that they may be able to help tackle the problem. ‘We already install filters to protect young people from unsuitable material on the web, but perhaps we can also develop roaches.’

sydalg

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2014 by Guest

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