Russia annexes Belgium, claims Group H victory

Reuters has reported today that Belgium has voted in a snap referendum to leave the EU and join the Russian Federation. Amphibious vessels from two Mistral-class ships, similar to those built by France for the Russian navy, landed in Zeebrugge and Ostend just before the kick-off of Belgium’s second World Cup match.

Disembarking from the vessels, heavily-armed pro-Russian Belgium football fans spread out in a standard 4-4-2 pincer formation, capturing Brussels by half-time.

The head of a popular uprising of Belgians, Serge Lebrove, said on Russian state television, in Russian, with a Moscow accent, that Belgians of all ethnicities were ‘united in their demand for a plebiscite’. He said: ‘The question will be; do you want to join Russia or be absorbed by the Russian Federation?’ anchor Abby Martin told viewers that, thanks to the efficiency of the Belgian electoral system, by the final whistle 97.9% of Belgians had voted for Moscow rule. Support was strongest in Brussels, where 110% of registered voters were in favour.

Speaking from Moscow, Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said; ‘the people of Belgium have spoken with one voice against the gay fascism of Europe and elected to rejoin Mother Russia. The Duma has ratified their decision. Since Belgium is now part of Russia, that puts Russia on seven points at the top of Group H. Cooome on!”

Bob Crumpett

Share this story...

Posted: Jun 23rd, 2014 by

Click for more article by ..

© 2018 NewsBiscuit | Powered by Deluxe Corporation | Stories (RSS) | T & C | Privacy | Disclaimer