Brooks cleared of ‘ever having been married to Ross Kemp’

In what is being seen as a complete character vindication, Rebekah Brooks was today cleared by the High Court of all allegations of marriage to a ‘soft-shite mockney’.

In a statement read on her behalf by her lawyer, Brooks said: ‘I’ve always clearly denied any such association and all accusations that I wanted ‘a bit of rough’. This rumour was always driven by Kemp during breaks from those dreary programmes showing him hiding behind a wall in Afghanistan’.

The statement concluded: ‘In fact, the first I knew of it was when I hacked his phone. Oh bugger’.


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Posted: Jun 24th, 2014 by

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