Messing and mucking about is still the most important part of the school curriculum for most pupils, according to OFSTED. ‘It’s my favourite bit,’ said Brett, a year eight pupil at Scunthorpe Comp, ‘though school dinners when it’s double burger, chips and beans is good.’
The report will be a disappointment for Education Secretary Michael Gove who wants to replace messing about in schools with the study of Shakespeare and String Theory. ‘I’m not really arsed about Shakespeare’, added Brett. ‘Basically we just mess about and wind Miss Edwards up all day. It’s ace’.
But the UK recently came top in messing about in an international league table of schools with South Korea at the bottom. A plan to put messing about on the curriculum as a discrete subject alongside English and history was abandoned when educationalists pointed out that pupils would probably just mess and muck about in it.