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Internet now with ‘Auto-Adolf-Comparison’ feature

It has long been a rule of any political debate, that if it goes on long enough, one party will compare the other to Adolf Hitler, and the party that makes this comparison instantly loses the debate. To speed up the process, a new internet feature is being activated which auto-corrects all similes and metaphors so that they reference Hitler.

‘This is ridiculous. It’s the sort of thing Hitler would do’ said one net commentator. ‘One day they’re forcibly correcting our posts, the next it’s off to the camps.’

The feature has lead to some very interesting news articles on the net, such as this one about the queen’s recent jubilee celebration: ‘The stars were out to dazzle last night at a concert hall so packed and buzzing it put one in mind of the galleries at the Nuremberg trials. There were dozens of acts, each executed with Nazi-like precision. Queen Elizabeth presided over it all, glowing with pleasure and beaming at the audience like Herr Hitler himself.

Elton John, Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney’s performances could only bring to mind the atrocities at Auschwitz, while the news that Prince Philip had been hospitalised with a bladder had a similar effect on the crowd to the invasion of Poland. But spirits were lifted when Robbie Williams sang Let Me Entertain You as though he were running a death camp and Will I Am and Jessie J’s duet massacred untold millions of innocent Jews.

All in all it was the sort of evening that Adolf Hitler would have enjoyed and is sure to be remembered as long as the Third Reich stands.’

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Posted: Jul 2nd, 2014 by Textbook

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