David Miliband readied for last minute substitution in Election shoot-out

Labour Party chiefs, inspired by Dutch manager Louis Van Gaal’s last minute switch of goalkeeper in the Holland v Costa Rica World Cup quarter-final, are preparing a last gasp replacement of their own in the run up to next year’s General Election.

‘Whilst Ed has done a good job up to now he’s hardly going to get the opposition wetting their pants when we get to the tense final stages of the Election,’ said a Party spokesman, ‘Like the Dutch on Saturday, we have to throw in a ‘safe pair of hands’ and David is the perfect person to come in at the last minute and steal all the glory.’

Ed Miliband wasn’t available for comment. His brother David, when tracked down to a deli in New York, was thankfully equally tight-lipped as he practiced his bacon sandwich eating technique ahead of next May’s showdown.


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Posted: Jul 7th, 2014 by

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