Energy markets were thrown into confusion over revelations that the UK’s biggest supplier of nuisance phone calls, spurious bills and mis-sold contracts may have inadvertently provided ‘actual energy’ to their customers.
As energy bills have increased so has the public’s confidence that they were getting an excellent and professional level of rip off in an efficient, free-market manner, but to discover that domestic energy has been sneakily delivered by the back door has led many to completely lose faith in British Gas.
One shocked house owner said: ‘I couldn’t understand it. My radiators started giving off heat. The TV became brightly coloured and started to emit a range of bewildering noises. It was almost as if someone had flicked a switch somewhere.’
A spokesman for Ian Peters, managing director of British Gas Residential, assured the public that normal service would resume soon, promising to stop providing energy and return to ‘good old fashioned doorstep intimidation and scaring your Gran into handing over her credit card details’ as soon as the regulator Ofgem gets bored again and looks the other way.’