With many players praying for positive outcomes in the World Cup it came as no surprise to Ladbrokes manager Geoff Beesley when God walked into his shop and bet £5 on Columbia making it through to the semi-finals.
‘I’ve seen this sort of thing before, of course, but it’s uncanny. It’s almost as if he has some influence on which prayers are answered,’ added Mr Beesley from behind the counter in his Ladbrokes Old Kent Road branch.
He also confirmed that the Almighty had £100 on Neymar going off injured midway through the second half with a bad back. ‘We’re thinking of banning him,’ said Mr Beesley.
Outside the shop, however, God did admit that he’d been spending way too much time answering footballers’ prayers in recent weeks and had taken his eye off the other stuff – like peace in the Middle east, famine in Africa and global warming, but gave assurances that he’d get right back onto those as soon as Sunday’s final is over.
‘Make of it what you will,’ cautioned Mr Beesley, ‘but, between you and me, he’s also got £20 on Klose to score a hat-trick in the final and £100,000 on David Luis coming out next week as a transgender cross-dressing llama. Fancy a punt?’