Church men opposed female bishops because ‘they look better in purple dresses’

With the Church of England voting to allow women bishops, a group from the catholic side of the church have admitted they are against the idea on the grounds that ‘a woman would pull off wearing these dresses better than us’ and are a threat to their femininity.

‘The bottom line is that we have managed to make purple dresses look good, and that’s because there has been no comparison,’ a spoke(definitely)man told reporters. ‘Letting women wear them will put us to shame, especially as they are much better at accessorising. Not only that but once the females have got equal rights, we’ll have to welcome gay bishops and then we’ll have no chance.’

Fortunately many others eligible to vote understand that letting women have power in the church can only be a good thing. ‘Jesus may have been able to walk on water but Dynamo proved that was a piece of piss’ said the Archbishop of Canterbury. ‘However Mary gave birth without having intercourse with any man, I’d like to see David Blaine give that a go.’

James Pluside

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Posted: Jul 15th, 2014 by

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