Suicide bomber calls in sick with a bellyache

Office manager and Afghan warlord, Deriq Godwin, said he’s beginning to wonder whether employee Colin Troke’s heart is still in it after he phoned the office this morning saying he wouldn’t be in as he had a bit of a ‘tummy ache’, the third time in as many weeks he has failed to show for work.

‘I don’t know what’s up with him. He gave a great interview, seemed totally up for the job and couldn’t wait to get out there and start blowing himself up. I suppose it’s my fault for not checking his references properly’ admitted Mr Godwin.

It’s the last straw for some of his colleagues, who say they are fed up of having to cover him. ‘He’s taking the piss!’ said one fellow worker. ‘We’re short-staffed and overworked as it is, and then Colin decides he’d rather stay at home and watch Jeremy ‘bloody’ Kyle! Honestly. It makes me want to explode!’

Colin did try to defend his claims of a ‘dicky belly’ and to reinforce his commitment to the job by telling his boss that he’d been up all night creating ‘utter carnage’ in his toilet but that he expects to be back in tomorrow.


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Posted: Jul 16th, 2014 by

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