Met Office issues amber ‘nyah, nyah, ne-nyah, nyah’

A spokesman from the Met Office admitted today that the earlier warning to ‘stay indoors’, particularly on Friday, was simply a ruse to clear the roads for their staff.

Speaking from a deckchair on Brighton seafront, with a late-cancellation booking for one of the nicer hotels, he said ‘Obviously the Friday before the schools finish and the warmest day of the year means every man and his overheated dog is going to be stuck in traffic heading for anywhere we wanted to go. Frankly only an idiot wouldn’t take precautions.’

Met Office seniors have ‘officially denied’ being in earlier discussions with the MOD and Home Office in a specially-convened COBRA meeting to ensure public compliance with the ‘clear roads’ initiative. An official offered that ‘they may or may not have’ considered a nuclear warning test in order to properly ensure ready access to arterial routes to the coast for ‘key workers’, their families and inflatable lilos.

Kevin the Swan

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2014 by

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