UKIP leader Nigel Farage has revealed he is undertaking a course of political reassignment and is now living as ‘Nigel Chomsky’. ‘I was born in the body of a privileged right-winger but from as early as I can remember I wanted to be a socialist,’ Chomsky said.
UKIP has suffered a downturn in media exposure recently. Many commentators blamed this on waning interest in the party’s controversial stand on immigration but Chomsky explains the lull as an intentional attempt to reduce his media profile.
‘I have been living a lie that I simply cannot endure any longer. All that drinking bitter and smoking fags – I don’t even like bitter. I can now drink my Fairtrade coffee with my friends Pavel and Ranjita at the immigration help centre in peace.’