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Impotent man has best kept house on street

Roger Jameson, a 57-year-old chartered surveyor from Ryde in the Isle of Wight, who has been suffering with impotence for the last four months, has recently thrown himself into a frenzy of DIY and household chores in an attempt to hide the problem from his ‘delighted’ wife Sheila, 55.

As a result, she has revealed, their house at 22 Acacia Avenue looks better than it has for years

‘A few months ago it became obvious that there were problems in the bedroom – the main problem being that it hadn’t been painted for years,’ she said. ‘Fortunately, the erectile dysfunction kicked in about that time and since then he’s painted the bedroom and every other room in the house. Every time something needs done I just say “Fancy an early night luv?” in a suggestive tone, and, hey presto!, he’s straight up a ladder cleaning the windows or whatever else needs doing.’

Research has shown that carrying out maintenance work around the house may also be a sub-conscious attempt on the sufferer’s part to reassert his manhood and justify his position in the household. Some believe that this kind of displacement activity, typically involving splashing off-white paint onto a wall, mixing wet cement or dispensing hot melt adhesives from a long white tube with a pointy bit on the end is a symbolic re-enactment of the sexual activity middle aged men are no longer able to engage in.

However, Sheila Jameson has admitted that she couldn’t really care less whether or not this is true. ‘I know I should be sympathetic and try and help him overcome the problem, but the garden fence needs creosoting and those shelves in the utility room won’t put themselves up,’ she said. ‘Besides I’ve been spending a lot of time with the man at number 14 and his house is practically falling apart, if you get my drift.’

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2014 by Guest

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