Israelis, Sunni and Shia Muslims, Druze and Yazidis danced arm in arm last night after agreeing that John Stevens of Luton had completely ‘nailed it’ in a JPG he tweeted at 00.13 on Sunday that totally summed up the hypocrisy on all sides and proved that everyone was equally right and wrong on everything.
A historic communique has been agreed where everyone confirmed that ‘Everything’s fine starting now’. A Hamas spokesperson said: ‘The whole God idea is a bit far-fetched if you think about it, isn’t it? What are we even doing? I’ll live wherever, I’m not that bothered.’
Stevens commented: ‘II don’t really watch the news but the idea just struck me – why don’t they all just sort it out? This proves that Twitter isn’t just half-educated loners throwing out meaningless platitudes into the ether. It’s more than that.’