Newspaper editors across the country were celebrating this week, as it was revealed that this year’s A-level students are the prettiest ever. The results met with complaints from disgruntled old picture editors who used to cover the A-level results in the 1980’s. ‘In our day it was much more difficult to track down an attractive 18-year-old girl with good exam results to stick on the front page. Nowadays there so are many A’s being dished out that even the most useless inexperienced journalist can find one.’
However press photographers were insistent that their jobs were just as difficult as 20 years ago. ‘It’s all very well being criticised by bitter old hacks’, said Nigel Tweed of the Daily Telegraph, ‘but the fact is you can’t just stick any old totty on our front page like you used to. Nowadays you need to find pretty twins hugging one another or at least the outline of a nipple’.
Dave Curtly from The Sun was equally adamant that standards had not fallen. ‘It’s tough out there,’ he said. ‘Page 3 is now getting difficult to fill, with so many A-grade students around there are very few dumb blondes left’.