Jack Hammer and his partner Jill are suing NHS 111 for ‘wholly inadequate advice’ following a fall they had while collecting water near their idyllic rural home.
‘We went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,’ Jack explained, ‘when I fell back down, fracturing the crown of my head in the process. When Jill rang NHS 111, they suggested bed rest and patching me up with vinegar and brown paper. The next day I learned from my GP that this would not have helped in the slightest.’
Jill added that this was the second serious failing from the NHS after a nurse had told Jack he would be more nimble if he jumped over a candlestick. ‘We had to get him new boxers after that.’ An NHS 111 spokesperson declined to comment for reasons of patient confidentiality but said that we all fall down.